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Deb's HerSpectives® Blog

The HerSpectives® Blog by Deb Boelkes

Deb’s HerSpectives® Blog

You Have More Power Than You Realize

June 2023

Have you ever noticed how incredibly bold toddlers can be? For the most part, they haven’t learned about the dangers that can accompany risk taking. Hence, most toddlers have little fear of trying out all kinds of audacious adventures. They don’t hesitate to hit a playmate who angers them. They’re as likely as not to steal a treasure away from a sibling and emphatically call it “mine!” if anyone attempts to retrieve it. When given gentle instruction to right the wrong, most toddlers will vehemently reject the reproach with a resounding “NO!”   

With limited self-regulation or reasoning ability, toddlers simply behave as though the world revolves around them—until they can comprehend the potential consequences of one’s actions. Meanwhile, most are quite fearless when it comes to grabbing all the power they can. If not closely monitored and deliberately kept in check, aggressive, power-grabbing behavior can become ingrained in a child’s psyche.  

Fast forward thirty years. Those self-centered toddlers who were left-unchecked and given free-rein to “just be themselves” have grown into bullish, brassy, brazen, attention-grabbing, power-hungry adults. Meanwhile, those former toddlers who were kept in line and disciplined for their overly aggressive actions may have morphed into benign, polite, approval-seeking do-gooders. Of course, there are many permutations in between.

Based on my experience, women tend to lean toward the polite, do-gooder end of the spectrum. Thus, they are hesitant to speak-up to assert their rights and opinions. When a bullish, attention-grabbing, power-hungry man—who now identifies as a woman—elects to participate in women’s sports activities, the benign, polite do-gooder women fall prey.

Realities that were considered normal facts of life in days-gone-by are now oddly and errantly judged to be disinformation by Diversity, Equity, Inclusion (DEI) administrators and social media police. What I call nouveau-truths now rule the day.

I knew we had a serious problem one day when my now-grown son’s family came to visit. One evening at the dinner table, my eight-your-old grand-daughter emphatically stated, “Men can have babies.”

The adults at the table immediately jumped in to correct this nouveau-truth, “No, dear, only women can have babies.” This completely confused the eight-year-old, so a detailed conversation ensued about where she had learned this nouveau-truth, and why it is not so. We praised her for raising the issue and encouraged her to always feel free to share anything she hears or sees that seems to conflict with home-taught values. We made sure she understood we would never want her to feel afraid or foolish to ask questions or speak up.

Regardless of where you find yourself on the “Bullish to Benign” character spectrum, no one should feel afraid or foolish to challenge nouveau-truths in this increasingly upside-down, inside-out, anything-goes society.  In fact, it’s our duty to protect our children from this Cancel Culture world that scorns traditional values, lauds thugs, and celebrates kinky behaviors, lest we succumb to the fate of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Chances are, you’ve asked yourself several times, “Why doesn’t someone do something about this?”

For better or worse, that someone is you and me. WE have that responsibility. We the People control the government. It’s not supposed to be the other way around. While it may not be taught in some public schools in anymore, our forefathers fought a Revolutionary War to rid themselves of tyranny and oppression. Today, we are at a similar tipping point. It’s up to each one of us to do whatever we can to right this wayward ship.

You may be thinking, “But what can I do? I’m just one person.”

The reality is that every meaningful undertaking in history started with a single individual who had an idea. So, regardless of whether you were raised to become a bullish, brassy, brazen, attention-grabbing, power-hungry adult, or you are now a benign, polite, approval-seeking do-gooder—or somewhere in between—brilliant solutions always start with one person who has an idea. Now is your time to get creative and shine like the super-star you were born to be. You have more power than you realize.

No matter your age, color, gender, or creed, together we can make a difference. If you have an idea, don’t hide it. Act on it—in your own benign, polite, approval-seeking do-gooder way, or in your own brazen, brassy, attention-grabbing way. Just do it. A groundswell can take hold when multiple passionate and determined individuals—just like you—do the same. Even if your actions are not coordinated with others, the aggregate of individual actions can make all the difference.

Just consider how the marketplace reacted to the Bud Light decision to promote transgender activist Dylan Mulvaney. Individual actions, when added together, created a groundswell so huge that it caused Bud Light’s parent company to lose nearly $16B in market value in a month. You have more power than you realize.

Likewise, Target’s stock price declined from $152.28 on May 19 to $133.84 by May 30th—a 12% decrease in just 6 business days—after one flabbergasted mom named Lizzi posted a selfie-video from the kids’ department of her local Target store, irate about the clothing items she found there which promoted transgenderism, drugs, and violence. That one mom’s seemingly simple action kicked off a groundswell.  You have more power than you realize.

Regardless of whether you are a bullish, brassy, and brazen or a polite, approval-seeking do-gooder, YOU have the potential to change the status quo. If you think “someone should do something,” then be that someone and do something, however trivial that action may seem to you. Just leverage your Strong Suit so your action will feel natural and fulfilling. Whether you post a selfie-video, or speak at a school board meeting, or start a new school, or find a new job, or start a petition drive, or anything else, acting on your idea could kick-off a groundswell.

We can no longer afford to sit back and do nothing but helplessly watch what’s happening to our families, our workplaces, and our communities. Now is the time to stand up, speak up, and act—in your own unique way.  Just believe in yourself and know in your heart that whatever action you take has the potential to make a huge impact. At least you will have tried, and just maybe your action will inspire others to do the same.  

You have more power than you realize.

Deb Boelkes