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Deb's HerSpectives® Blog

The HerSpectives® Blog by Deb Boelkes

Deb’s HerSpectives® Blog

Wanted: Leaders to Rise to the Challenge

July 2021

These days, it seems that most kids play indoors. But back when I was a child, our mothers sent us outside to play. Outdoors, we could run around, make noise, climb trees, roller skate, make believe we were superheroes, and play all kinds of games, from hopscotch to Hide and Seek.

I wonder if kids today even know the term, “Olly olly oxen free!”  

If this catchphrase is not familiar to you, Olly olly oxen free! was the call that brought a round of the game of Hide and Seek to a close when whoever was designated to be “It” could not find all the other players. When “It” hollered Olly olly oxen free! all the other players still in hiding knew that they could now come out into the open without losing the game.  

While I have not heard this phrase in a very long time, I have been thinking about it quite a bit lately—ever since I wrote my May 2020 blog post, Do You Know Where Your Leaders Are?. As the months of the pandemic have rolled on, and especially now, as we begin to hear rumblings of yet more lockdowns to come as new variants emerge, it seems that truly inspirational leaders, heartfelt leaders, are getting even harder to find.  Is it just me or have you noticed this, too?

Sure, there are plenty of people around who call themselves leaders. Yet, most self-proclaimed “leaders” are little more than self-absorbed tyrants.  While the media may try to make you believe otherwise, it seems that many so-called business leaders, media moguls, and elected officials “lead” through force, silencing others under the false assumption that their critical righteousness makes them more powerful. Some don’t seem at all concerned about quality of service or the actual needs of the public they serve. Such people are the antithesis of heartfelt, WOW factor workplace leaders.

You may know such self-proclaimed leaders. Perhaps you even report to one. If so, my condolences, as such people are not leaders; they are narcissists. [BTW: Mark Goulston, M.D., with whom I collaborated to research and write my first two books, The WOW Factor Workplace and Heartfelt Leadership, provides an excellent explanation of how to effectively deal with a narcissist in his book, Just Listen.]

While self-absorbed tyrants may succeed in gaining tacit compliance in the short-term, over time their threats and scare tactics seriously impair performance by causing ill-will and hostility.  Strong-armed mandates invariably lead organizations and communities into decline unless someone, somewhere, courageously stands up to challenge the status quo and right the ship.

Think about it. Is your organization or community in decline? How would you define the leadership style of those at the helm where you live and work? Do the attitudes and actions of those in charge hurt or boost the general morale? Do they inspire confidence and enthusiasm in those they serve, or do they foster fear, hesitancy, guilt, and resentment?

Slowing growth, unabated debt, rising distrust, begrudging compliance, subterfuge, and a crisis of meaning and purpose are all symptoms of poor leadership. Yet, life does not have to be this way, nor should it be.

Decline is a choice. It is not inevitable. You can always do something to turn a ship around, at least as long as you are there, and you are willing to take action. Real leaders, heartfelt leaders, rise to such challenges. And it doesn’t even matter where you are on the career ladder. It is a choice anyone and everyone can make.

One of my favorite leadership quotes is this one, by the legendary UCLA basketball coach John Wooden:

We don’t have to be superstars or win championships. All we must do is learn to rise to every occasion, give our best effort, and make those around us better as we do it.

Yes, each of us get to make important decisions every day about how we raise our families and do our jobs. Good leaders, at every level, can rise up. You can either choose to participate in the decline of your community or organization, or you can choose to stop tolerating substandard or egregious performance. You can choose to do what needs to be done to change the status quo. You can choose to give your best efforts and help make those around you better as you do it.

There is no reason to think that you do not have the ability do these things. There is no reason to believe you cannot maximize your own performance. Even if others choose instead to take pot shots at you, you can hold your head high in the knowledge that thanks to your high standards, your fortitude, your willingness to stand up to tyrants and do what clearly needs to be done—while respecting those around you and inspiring others to do the same—you will be serving as the hallmark of great leadership.

So, I call out to you now, Olly olly oxen free! Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Now is your time to rise to the challenge.

You only get one lifetime, and you are in charge of it. The choice is yours.   

Deb Boelkes